Lately there have been many wonderful models and photographers focusing on showcasing larger women and their bodies. A lot of the stories that correspond with these pictures ask what the impact of having these bodies shown off more and more. So, I started to think about my personal reactions. And honestly, what I noticed most was looking at how each body ebbed and flowed. What kind of curves did each woman have? Where were they? Did they have a lot or a few? And even though I was intrigued by these different figures, it wasn't really so much out of disgust or "watching a train wreck" as they say. I was really fascinated by how unique each one was. It's amazing to me how the skin, fat, organs, bones, and other body parts figure out on each person exactly where they're going to go, how they're going to lay, how far out they're going to stick, how dense they're going to be, how flabby they're going to be, how lumpy, how thin, how they're going to end up. And then any time people gain or lose weight, each body changes in it's own way. And to me, seeing all of these shapes and sizes is really a celebration of that, and how amazing the human body is.
The Body Images is one of my favorite galleries that is an example of this. Check it out. These women are beautiful.
The Human Body: Amazing
Gettin' My Girl on at the Lincoln Women's Expo!
This weekend I attended the Lincoln Women's Expo. I've been before, and had a good time, so wanted to go again. Normally I'm not super, "GIRL POWER! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!" but it's something different to do, and it supports local businesses. So what the hey.
After I'd made the plans to go, I realized that this might be an interesting opportunity for a blog topic. I mean, if you just look at the list of exhibitors, it really makes you wonder how many of them are apart of that multi-billion dollar weight-loss/fat-shaming/insecurity-women-making industry, and how much good an event like this really is. So I went in with my battle face on (sort of) ready to get women talking about health, body love, and confidence in themselves.
Well, turns out I'm not much of a fighter after all. Actually, I didn't really see too many exhibitors that were targeting women by taking advantage of their insecurities. There was one booth for a plastic surgeon, and I was sort of listening to what the woman with the booth was saying to the woman who was asking questions. It was interesting to me because the woman asking questions looked like the pretty typical "beautiful" woman. I wanted to ask her what she was hoping to change, why she was wanting to change, where she was in her journey, etc. But I wasn't brave enough. I also wanted to ask the woman with the booth about the people who come to their clinic. I wanted to know if they provide any sort of counseling to their clients either before or after the surgeries, or if they simply let the clients deal with drastic changes and the results on their own. I can imagine dealing something like that could be difficult for people who have major self-image issues. But again, I was not brave enough to approach the exhibitor.
I did, however, come across one booth in a section providing health information that asked women if they wanted to know what their BMI was. This I could not simply walk away from. I approached the woman at the booth, and she very kindly asked if I wanted to check mine. I told her I did not, and let her know I was about to rant (with a smile). And of course, I was very polite about what I had to say, rather than combative, because I know they are just trying to help and because people react better when you're nice. I just kind of told her that BMI's are a really inaccurate way to measure someone's health. I let her know it was something that was invented in the 1800s, and reiterated that it is literally the ratio of one's weight to one's height. It can be very misleading in that someone with a "healthy" BMI could actually have a terrible lifestyle healthwise, and someone with a "dangerous" BMI could actually be quite healthy. So why, in 2014, we are still using such a ridiculous "tool" as an indicator of health is quite beyond me. It is really a good guess, at best.
Another booth I came upon was the Women's Foundation of Lincoln and Lancaster County. I hadn't ever heard of this so I was intrigued by what it was all about. I spoke to the exhibitor a few minutes about this, and found out they help with things like legislation, finances, education, etc. by having different events, mailing lists, a TV channel, and other things. I asked if they ever had anything about body issues, and the woman actually said they hadn't. She thought that was a great idea asked that I write down the suggestion for her, so I did. Hopefully something will come of it.
No expo would be complete without a little shopping. And these vendors probably made up most of the expo. There were quite a few that had some really neat stuff, and I did purchase a few things. I got a bracelet from Michelle Avery Jewelry, and then also a dress. The dress was from a boutique called Diva Wear Plus. Although the name has the word "Plus" in it, there are actually clothes for women sizes XS to 6X. It was really neat seeing a retailer providing such a wide range of sizes in a store for plus size women. I don't know that I'd seen that before. So I hope this women continues to be successful in her business. The store is located in Kansas City if you ever want to check it out!
I think it might be kind of cool to have a booth of my own next year. I'd have it full of things to help women feel good about their bodies, resources they can check out, shops, websites, information about health, exercise, stickers, and who knows what else! I don't know that it'll actually happen, but it's a great idea for sure.
Oh, and also, the Lincoln Ukelele Group performed!
After I'd made the plans to go, I realized that this might be an interesting opportunity for a blog topic. I mean, if you just look at the list of exhibitors, it really makes you wonder how many of them are apart of that multi-billion dollar weight-loss/fat-shaming/insecurity-women-making industry, and how much good an event like this really is. So I went in with my battle face on (sort of) ready to get women talking about health, body love, and confidence in themselves.
Well, turns out I'm not much of a fighter after all. Actually, I didn't really see too many exhibitors that were targeting women by taking advantage of their insecurities. There was one booth for a plastic surgeon, and I was sort of listening to what the woman with the booth was saying to the woman who was asking questions. It was interesting to me because the woman asking questions looked like the pretty typical "beautiful" woman. I wanted to ask her what she was hoping to change, why she was wanting to change, where she was in her journey, etc. But I wasn't brave enough. I also wanted to ask the woman with the booth about the people who come to their clinic. I wanted to know if they provide any sort of counseling to their clients either before or after the surgeries, or if they simply let the clients deal with drastic changes and the results on their own. I can imagine dealing something like that could be difficult for people who have major self-image issues. But again, I was not brave enough to approach the exhibitor.
I did, however, come across one booth in a section providing health information that asked women if they wanted to know what their BMI was. This I could not simply walk away from. I approached the woman at the booth, and she very kindly asked if I wanted to check mine. I told her I did not, and let her know I was about to rant (with a smile). And of course, I was very polite about what I had to say, rather than combative, because I know they are just trying to help and because people react better when you're nice. I just kind of told her that BMI's are a really inaccurate way to measure someone's health. I let her know it was something that was invented in the 1800s, and reiterated that it is literally the ratio of one's weight to one's height. It can be very misleading in that someone with a "healthy" BMI could actually have a terrible lifestyle healthwise, and someone with a "dangerous" BMI could actually be quite healthy. So why, in 2014, we are still using such a ridiculous "tool" as an indicator of health is quite beyond me. It is really a good guess, at best.
Another booth I came upon was the Women's Foundation of Lincoln and Lancaster County. I hadn't ever heard of this so I was intrigued by what it was all about. I spoke to the exhibitor a few minutes about this, and found out they help with things like legislation, finances, education, etc. by having different events, mailing lists, a TV channel, and other things. I asked if they ever had anything about body issues, and the woman actually said they hadn't. She thought that was a great idea asked that I write down the suggestion for her, so I did. Hopefully something will come of it.
No expo would be complete without a little shopping. And these vendors probably made up most of the expo. There were quite a few that had some really neat stuff, and I did purchase a few things. I got a bracelet from Michelle Avery Jewelry, and then also a dress. The dress was from a boutique called Diva Wear Plus. Although the name has the word "Plus" in it, there are actually clothes for women sizes XS to 6X. It was really neat seeing a retailer providing such a wide range of sizes in a store for plus size women. I don't know that I'd seen that before. So I hope this women continues to be successful in her business. The store is located in Kansas City if you ever want to check it out!
I think it might be kind of cool to have a booth of my own next year. I'd have it full of things to help women feel good about their bodies, resources they can check out, shops, websites, information about health, exercise, stickers, and who knows what else! I don't know that it'll actually happen, but it's a great idea for sure.
Oh, and also, the Lincoln Ukelele Group performed!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Last week I spent 8 days in the beautiful Caribbean on a cruise with 17 members of my family. I had such a great time! And of course I had fun with the fashions that would be appropriate in island paradise. I even decided to get a "fatkini" - a regular bikini top with a high-waisted bikini bottom.
What I didn't expect was how much I'd come to not caring about how I looked, or how I don't have a "beach ready" body. Of course, to me, having a beach ready body consists of getting your body on a beach. A lot of this was due to the fact that the majority of passengers on the ship were from Puerto Rico. The hub for the ship is in San Juan, so this made sense. What I learned is that Puerto Ricans are basically the best people I've ever come to know. Their culture is focused around family, music, dancing, and loving life. One young lady I was talking to while laying on a large inflatable raft near the beach said Puerto Ricans are happy people! They also really looove their curves - or don't really give a damn about them, one of the two. Most women wore very form fitting clothes, to include showing off what most American women take all sorts of matters to hide - the under belly, the pooch, or the FUPA - Fat Upper Pubic Area. It kind of blew my mind.
I also saw many women wearing bikinis without a care in the world. One of my family members commented on an older woman who had a large belly, and was wearing a bikini, saying she didn't have any respect for herself. My thoughts were, maybe she saved her entire life to go on this cruise, and dammit, she's going to wear a bikini! Or maybe she had lost a significant amount of weight and finally felt confident in her body. Or maybe she just really didn't care what her body looked like. Being my loud mouth self, I shared these thoughts with the aforementioned family member, who didn't have much to say in return.
The more I saw these women and the more I saw how much they didn't care, and really how much other people didn't care, the more I noticed not caring about my own body insecurities. I had a fun pair of shorts with palm branches on them that were shorter than shorts I normally wear because of my thighs. But they were fun! And they were comfy! So I wore them, and let my thighs jiggle away! I wore my bikini on the beach and got a sunburn on my belly for the first time in more than a decade! And I felt super hot wearing it! I let my middrift show when getting super hot wearing a full-length tankini under my shirt, and was totally comfortable in my skin. And guess what - no one cared! I didn't get weird looks. I didn't get people commenting on all the extra skin. I didn't burst into flames because I wore something unconventional for my body type. It was so freeing to be in an environment that allowed me to be who I was, and to not have to worry about my size or this roll showing or that piece of fat hanging out.
I really hope the current body positive movement in the US starts to take hold and give people the option to feel happy in their skin, to wear what they want, and be comfortable with their imperfections. Having an entire week of that was so kick-ass awesome, and I'm not going to allow myself to take any steps back with my own confidence and positive body image. Here are some pictures!
 |
| My bikini. Love it! |
I also saw many women wearing bikinis without a care in the world. One of my family members commented on an older woman who had a large belly, and was wearing a bikini, saying she didn't have any respect for herself. My thoughts were, maybe she saved her entire life to go on this cruise, and dammit, she's going to wear a bikini! Or maybe she had lost a significant amount of weight and finally felt confident in her body. Or maybe she just really didn't care what her body looked like. Being my loud mouth self, I shared these thoughts with the aforementioned family member, who didn't have much to say in return.
The more I saw these women and the more I saw how much they didn't care, and really how much other people didn't care, the more I noticed not caring about my own body insecurities. I had a fun pair of shorts with palm branches on them that were shorter than shorts I normally wear because of my thighs. But they were fun! And they were comfy! So I wore them, and let my thighs jiggle away! I wore my bikini on the beach and got a sunburn on my belly for the first time in more than a decade! And I felt super hot wearing it! I let my middrift show when getting super hot wearing a full-length tankini under my shirt, and was totally comfortable in my skin. And guess what - no one cared! I didn't get weird looks. I didn't get people commenting on all the extra skin. I didn't burst into flames because I wore something unconventional for my body type. It was so freeing to be in an environment that allowed me to be who I was, and to not have to worry about my size or this roll showing or that piece of fat hanging out.
I really hope the current body positive movement in the US starts to take hold and give people the option to feel happy in their skin, to wear what they want, and be comfortable with their imperfections. Having an entire week of that was so kick-ass awesome, and I'm not going to allow myself to take any steps back with my own confidence and positive body image. Here are some pictures!
 |
| Cute shorts and cute thighs! |
 |
| Wearing a floppy hat - another confidence altogether! |
 |
| A total retro shout out! |
 |
| An elegant night at sea. |
 |
| Cute 'n' chic... |
 |
| with perfect shoes to match. |
 |
| Rum punch on the beach? Sure! |
 |
| Cocktail in the hot tub? Okay! |
 |
| Aboard a catamaran! |
 |
| Catching some rays on my lily white skin! |
 |
| Dressed as Aretha Franklin in the Carnival Legends show. Not something I would've picked for myself, but I was having a blast, so didn't care! |
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| Elton John and Aretha Franklin! |
 |
| I just couldn't leave the beach fashion at the beach! Simply added a coat when we got back to Omaha. |
Sunday, December 29, 2013
People who know me know that I like rules. Well, sort of. I like rules when there needs to be order, or when there are changes, and I like to know what they are so I can break them. But seriously, rules make doing things easy, because all you have to is know what they are, and do them. Not much other thinking involved. Yay!
Fashion is full of rules. Unfortunately, some of them are stupid. For example, no white after labor day. Don't wear horizontal stripes, etc. The thing about fashion is that one set of rules for a million types of bodies just doesn't make any sense.
But shopping is HARD. It's work! Even if you have a body designers tend to manufacture clothes for, not all clothes are meant for all people. We all have something that's a little bit different. Maybe we're tall, maybe short, wide hips, small bust, etc. etc. etc. So because of this work and all the options that are available to us, having rules can make shopping a whole lot easier.
But if those general fashion rules don't work, as I mentioned before, then what do we do? We make our OWN rules. Rules that we find work best for us. If we take note of things while we try them on - things we like, things we don't like - we can remember these as we shop in the future, and save ourselves some frustration and time. Allow me to share a few of mine with you.
1. No slinky material.
I don't really know what this material is called, but it stretches a lot, but also goes back to its shape, so it's very clingy. This works great on some shapes, but on me, I just can't stand it. It hugs a lot of curves I don't prefer to accentuate. So whenever I see an article of clothing with this material, I pass immediately.
2. A line, skater, and fit and flare are a go.
My body looks amazing in those more classic cuts - the A-line skirt, the very popular and in skater skirt or dress, and "fit and flare." All of these really accent a higher, natural waste line, hit the hips, and flow out from there. This cut totally accentuates the curves that I love. As long as the clothing isn't that slinky material, and it's the right size, it's almost guaranteed that I'm going to be happy with it. Similarly, there are certain cuts that I don't really like on my body. Even though I wear a larger size, I have a smaller frame than the typical woman who wears the same size. So things like tunics don't look so great on me. They're kind of bulky and are kind of like pretty potato sacks on me. Those shirts that have the elastic at the hip? Same story; very boxy on me since my waist line is lost. Pencil skirts? Oh, as much as I love these, I don't generally like how they look on me. But more about that below...
3. No skulls or hearts
Not much of an explanation needed. I just don't do these.
4. Try it on!!!
Now, I have started doing more online shopping, so this isn't always possible, but if I'm in a brick and mortar store, I go ahead and try something on, even if I'm not sure it's going to work. Clothes are made in a million different ways, and sometimes will fit better or worse than expected. Therefore I don't have to worry about something not fitting me. Let me say that again in a different way - If something doesn't fit you the way you like, it's the garment, not your body. Clothes are mass produced, and in no way are going to fit you 100% of the time. If something doesn't work, oh well! Move on to the next thing. But at least if you tried, you know. Who knows, maybe that pencil skirt I love on the hanger will look great on me!
5. Know your brands
At Target, Xhilaration is a juniors brand, and Merona is a women's brand. They are in the same area of clothes though, so unless you don't know that, you figure they're going to fit about the same. BUT THEY DON'T! Juniors clothes generally don't have a lot of room for curves, and run smaller for not-quite-yet-developed bodies. Womens clothes have more room for curves, knowing that the more mature female's body is going to have a little more shape. So generally, I avoid the Xhilaration brand. I also know that the Worthington brand at JCPenny just doesn't quite fit my broader shoulders/chest area. Old Navy clothes tend to run larger. These are just a few examples, but knowing what brands fit you is a HUGE help. If you see something you really like in one of those brands that generally doesn't work, just go back to rule number 4!
6. Go for those horizontal stripes!
Something I've noticed about horizontal stripes, especially if they're smaller, is that they totally emphasize curves in a wonderful way. I have a really cute peplum top with horizontal stripes. Also an A-line dress with horizontal stripes. Love both of them.
These are some of the things I think about when shopping. The only way I learned them, though, was by trial and error; taking a mental note anytime I didn't quite like something, or when something was totally awesome. The cool thing is, since I've started following these rules (and really, they're more of guidelines), I've had more and more times in the dressing room when I've turned something away because I didn't like theway it fit, not because it didn't fit. Or because I've found too many things that worked really well, and I couldn't spend that much money! In the past, there were some very frustrating and disappointing moments, but knowing these things have made shopping a much more enjoyable activity in the long run.
So, what are some of your rules? What sort of things work for you?
Fashion is full of rules. Unfortunately, some of them are stupid. For example, no white after labor day. Don't wear horizontal stripes, etc. The thing about fashion is that one set of rules for a million types of bodies just doesn't make any sense.
But shopping is HARD. It's work! Even if you have a body designers tend to manufacture clothes for, not all clothes are meant for all people. We all have something that's a little bit different. Maybe we're tall, maybe short, wide hips, small bust, etc. etc. etc. So because of this work and all the options that are available to us, having rules can make shopping a whole lot easier.
But if those general fashion rules don't work, as I mentioned before, then what do we do? We make our OWN rules. Rules that we find work best for us. If we take note of things while we try them on - things we like, things we don't like - we can remember these as we shop in the future, and save ourselves some frustration and time. Allow me to share a few of mine with you.
1. No slinky material.
I don't really know what this material is called, but it stretches a lot, but also goes back to its shape, so it's very clingy. This works great on some shapes, but on me, I just can't stand it. It hugs a lot of curves I don't prefer to accentuate. So whenever I see an article of clothing with this material, I pass immediately.
2. A line, skater, and fit and flare are a go.
My body looks amazing in those more classic cuts - the A-line skirt, the very popular and in skater skirt or dress, and "fit and flare." All of these really accent a higher, natural waste line, hit the hips, and flow out from there. This cut totally accentuates the curves that I love. As long as the clothing isn't that slinky material, and it's the right size, it's almost guaranteed that I'm going to be happy with it. Similarly, there are certain cuts that I don't really like on my body. Even though I wear a larger size, I have a smaller frame than the typical woman who wears the same size. So things like tunics don't look so great on me. They're kind of bulky and are kind of like pretty potato sacks on me. Those shirts that have the elastic at the hip? Same story; very boxy on me since my waist line is lost. Pencil skirts? Oh, as much as I love these, I don't generally like how they look on me. But more about that below...
3. No skulls or hearts
Not much of an explanation needed. I just don't do these.
4. Try it on!!!
Now, I have started doing more online shopping, so this isn't always possible, but if I'm in a brick and mortar store, I go ahead and try something on, even if I'm not sure it's going to work. Clothes are made in a million different ways, and sometimes will fit better or worse than expected. Therefore I don't have to worry about something not fitting me. Let me say that again in a different way - If something doesn't fit you the way you like, it's the garment, not your body. Clothes are mass produced, and in no way are going to fit you 100% of the time. If something doesn't work, oh well! Move on to the next thing. But at least if you tried, you know. Who knows, maybe that pencil skirt I love on the hanger will look great on me!
5. Know your brands
At Target, Xhilaration is a juniors brand, and Merona is a women's brand. They are in the same area of clothes though, so unless you don't know that, you figure they're going to fit about the same. BUT THEY DON'T! Juniors clothes generally don't have a lot of room for curves, and run smaller for not-quite-yet-developed bodies. Womens clothes have more room for curves, knowing that the more mature female's body is going to have a little more shape. So generally, I avoid the Xhilaration brand. I also know that the Worthington brand at JCPenny just doesn't quite fit my broader shoulders/chest area. Old Navy clothes tend to run larger. These are just a few examples, but knowing what brands fit you is a HUGE help. If you see something you really like in one of those brands that generally doesn't work, just go back to rule number 4!
6. Go for those horizontal stripes!
Something I've noticed about horizontal stripes, especially if they're smaller, is that they totally emphasize curves in a wonderful way. I have a really cute peplum top with horizontal stripes. Also an A-line dress with horizontal stripes. Love both of them.
 |
| Check it - thin horizontal stripes on an A-line dress without skulls or hearts made with non-slinky material! I'm not familiar with the brand, so I think I'll try it on! |
These are some of the things I think about when shopping. The only way I learned them, though, was by trial and error; taking a mental note anytime I didn't quite like something, or when something was totally awesome. The cool thing is, since I've started following these rules (and really, they're more of guidelines), I've had more and more times in the dressing room when I've turned something away because I didn't like theway it fit, not because it didn't fit. Or because I've found too many things that worked really well, and I couldn't spend that much money! In the past, there were some very frustrating and disappointing moments, but knowing these things have made shopping a much more enjoyable activity in the long run.
So, what are some of your rules? What sort of things work for you?
Monday, December 2, 2013
When I was about 12, my elderly grandmother gave me one of her blouses for Christmas, and it was one of those, "Awww, you really shouldn't have!" moments.
When she passed away, she had a closet of decades-old clothes I couldn't have cared less about.
Boy do I regret that now!
I think my grandmother had this dress.
(link)
My most recent fashion love is vintage clothing. I get my physique from that grandmother's side of the family, so I'm sure I could've found some real vintage gems to pull out of her collection. Vintage inspired is really fun too, but it's not quite the same. What I really love is seeing how other people have been able to take those vintage pieces and make some really cute outfits out of them. For example, this:
Now, I probably wouldn't put that big belt on it, and maybe not quite so a wild top, but the idea is fascinating.
(link)
Another thing I looove about vintage clothes is that they really knew how to fit women with curves. Higher waistlines and A-line skirts were abundant, and the feminine figure was really accented in the best possible ways.
On my most recent shopping trip (with some GREAT Black Friday deals), I was able to find a few fun vintage-inspired finds for pretty cheap! Check them out!
This total sexy-librarian Chiffon Tie Front Blouse was only $6 at Maurice's! I paired it with a military-inspired blazer (also from Maurice's, $10), Forever 21's skater skirt ($11), and a beautiful pair of tights from Lane Bryant ($8). Add a cute pair of heels and some pearls and BAM! A wonderful outfit for the workplace that could easily be taken out on the town by trading the skirt for a pair of dark skinnies.
I also found this dress at JCPenny for $30. Not much is needed to complete this retro look. I added a chunky gold necklace and red kitten heels and was ready to go.
As for certified vintage shopping, it's a bit harder for a bigger girl as most well-kept items are pretty slim. But from the little bit of concerted effort I've made so far, it seems like thrift stores are a good place to start. Other bloggers have said there's a ton of stuff on ebay too. Like I said, I'm kicking myself for not having more interest in my grandmother's clothes. But there's a whole world of hand-me-downs out there, and I've never backed down from a challenge, so I'm super excited to see what I can find!
When she passed away, she had a closet of decades-old clothes I couldn't have cared less about.
Boy do I regret that now!
I think my grandmother had this dress.
(link)
My most recent fashion love is vintage clothing. I get my physique from that grandmother's side of the family, so I'm sure I could've found some real vintage gems to pull out of her collection. Vintage inspired is really fun too, but it's not quite the same. What I really love is seeing how other people have been able to take those vintage pieces and make some really cute outfits out of them. For example, this:
Now, I probably wouldn't put that big belt on it, and maybe not quite so a wild top, but the idea is fascinating.
(link)
Another thing I looove about vintage clothes is that they really knew how to fit women with curves. Higher waistlines and A-line skirts were abundant, and the feminine figure was really accented in the best possible ways.
On my most recent shopping trip (with some GREAT Black Friday deals), I was able to find a few fun vintage-inspired finds for pretty cheap! Check them out!
This total sexy-librarian Chiffon Tie Front Blouse was only $6 at Maurice's! I paired it with a military-inspired blazer (also from Maurice's, $10), Forever 21's skater skirt ($11), and a beautiful pair of tights from Lane Bryant ($8). Add a cute pair of heels and some pearls and BAM! A wonderful outfit for the workplace that could easily be taken out on the town by trading the skirt for a pair of dark skinnies.
I also found this dress at JCPenny for $30. Not much is needed to complete this retro look. I added a chunky gold necklace and red kitten heels and was ready to go.
As for certified vintage shopping, it's a bit harder for a bigger girl as most well-kept items are pretty slim. But from the little bit of concerted effort I've made so far, it seems like thrift stores are a good place to start. Other bloggers have said there's a ton of stuff on ebay too. Like I said, I'm kicking myself for not having more interest in my grandmother's clothes. But there's a whole world of hand-me-downs out there, and I've never backed down from a challenge, so I'm super excited to see what I can find!
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